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MEGAN SMALLEY

May 22, 2019

 

FROM THE BLOG

My life is harder than yours.

Can we just stop this? The comparison game has gotten out of control. When we were walking through infertility, the first question I always got was “How long have you been trying?” As if whatever number I said had to meet this person’s standard of long enough to be sad about it. And then sometimes as I shared my story with others who had journeyed this road before me, it’s like my story didn’t measure up. It wasn’t as sad. We hadn’t been trying as long. We were still so young. And on and on.

WHEN IT ALL FEELS TOO HEAVY.

“Today was really hard. Jumping back into the world of testing and preparing for IVF has been like ripping the bandaid off. For months, I have been able to find such contentment in the season of life we are in because I knew this was in the distant future. But the closer it has gotten, the more my emotions have become a roller coaster. As we sat in the waiting room at CCRM, I looked around and seemed to be surrounded with women much older than me. I had this moment of foreshadowing like – what if that’s me? What if this doesn’t work? I am about to be 30 and my clock is ticking. I never felt the pressure of my age until now. With this big milestone looming around the corner, I am feeling so much more like the clock is ticking.

an open letter to alan jackson.

Dear Alan Jackson,

Thank you for creating precious memories for my family. I grew up on your music. You know, way down yonder on the Chattahoochee, livin’ on love, chasin’ that neon rainbow and can’t forget about gone country. The good stuff. I’ve always been a fan of your music, but honestly I didn’t know all that much about you. I guess I assumed you were just a good ole’ down home country boy. Little did I know, you would be a source of encouragement, hope and God’s truth for me during one of the hardest seasons of my life. 

@megansmalley

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